Less Than Perfect?

This is Me!  My wedding day December 21, 1996  :~}

This is Me! My wedding day December 21, 1996 :~}

I’ll say it out loud – I am a “big” girl, plus-size, over-weight…..ok, I’m fat.

There, I said it.

But really, what’s the big deal? Everyone can see that.

It’s not what I feel inside, though. Inside, I’m completely “normal”.

Hmmmm…..

What does this have to do with my wedding business? With the couples I work with? With my life in general and my interactions with the rest of the world? Plenty!

I see thousands of images every week of stunning, “swoon-worthy” (how I loathe that word now!), weddings, brides, flowers, décor. And now that I am of a certain maturity, it is not so disturbing that everything looks “perfect”, but that is now. Flashback almost 20 years ago when I was getting married……

This is me and my George, my dad.

This is me and my George, my dad.

My favorite kitty, Thumper :-)

My favorite kitty, Thumper 🙂

I wasn’t too big at this age, but still it did put a damper on my wedding planning.  See my double chin?  And that was after spending MANY early mornings at the gym.

What does this have to do with today’s weddings?

As I see all the beautiful, “perfect” brides, I begin to wonder about those of us who are “less than perfect”, as displayed in the media.  How often do I see those weddings profiled on all the top blogs, how “swoon-worthy” are we as the desirable bride?  Apparently, not so much.

And this makes me sad.  Because my weight did not lessen the amount of love I had for my groom, it did not lessen the joy in the celebration of two families coming together, of publicly pledging our vows before friends and God.

What it did lessen was the already minimal amount of self worth I felt – the struggle to find a dress that made me feel like the beautiful bride I wanted to be, the fear of going on my honeymoon and being the fat girl on the beach, knowing there would be pictures to last a lifetime of my double chin.  And all these negative emotions were added on to massive amount of stress that came from planning a wedding.  It’s just not right.

This is a plus-size?

This is a plus-size?

This also got me wondering about other, unconventional “Brides”.  What about the couples where there are no “Brides” – a perfectly matched, in-love pair of men who can celebrate their love publicly, a couple of masculine women choosing to unite and neither very fond of the feminine moniker of “Bride”, anyone who doesn’t fit the stereotype of “Princess Bride”….  Do these blogs/websites make them feel less than perfect?  That their love is somehow inferior or not to be celebrated?

It makes me sad.  Love is love – a beautiful gift meant to be celebrated.

I wish all the wedding couples in love a joyous wedding day, a planning experience full of love and celebration, and a lifetime of love and happiness – no matter how far apart from the “perfect wedding” image the media shows.

P.S.  As a follow-up, I am still happily married to the same groom, we also have a wonderful, crazy, beautiful daughter, and I have so much more weight on me now that I wish I was still like those “plus-size” pictures from 20 years ago!

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~ by OPULENCE Floral Design & Event Decor on June 1, 2014.

3 Responses to “Less Than Perfect?”

  1. …like you, simply fabulous.

  2. Great post and beautiful photographs. Perfection comes in many different forms. Hope you have a chance to check out my own post on gay weddings:
    http://wp.me/p4coOx-7x
    Cheers, Annabelle

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